Kim Ryan MAHS, LPC
CARES, LLC
www.careScounseling.com
Dana had been a mother for only six months when she and her husband, Blake, decided to getaway for the weekend. Their newborn son, Dylan, would stay with grandma and grandpa for the weekend. For the six months since Dylan’s birth Dana had not felt “right”;. She felt constant sadness for no apparent reason, so a weekend getaway would seem to make sense. However, Dana’s situation did not improve because the entire trip was filled with constant thoughts and worries of Dylan. Upon her return, Dana began having feelings of guilt because she did not want Dylan nor did she want to take responsibility for him anymore.
Jenny gave birth to McKenzie only a week ago and is having difficulty coping with sadness and anxiety. Her thoughts are centered on her husband and their new life together versus their old life. Jenny is sad that it will never again be just the two of them. She feels very needy and is very concerned when her husband leaves the house for work or even minor errands. She is constantly concerned about his safety and mortality.
Tabitha has felt a sense of sadness, fear, and guilt for almost a year now. These feelings began about the time of her second child’s birth. She is not sure why she is feeling this way. This is new for her as she did not experience these types of feelings with her first child. Many times she feels sad because of the new child and does not want to deal with the child. She will not admit it to anyone, but she has thoughts of ending the child’s life. She feels a great sense of guilt for these thoughts but has them none the less.
These examples vary in severity and the emotions that so many women experience after the birth of a child. It is important that women understand that they are not alone, whether they have similar experiences to these examples or not. Having a baby can be the most special time in a woman’s life. However, many women are not prepared for the wide range of emotions they may experience after the birth. Childbirth can trigger emotions including joy, happiness, and excitement, but it can also cause feelings such as sadness, fear, anxiety, and even anger. When these feelings are short lived, usually lasting only a few weeks, they are called the baby blues. However when the feelings continue, a woman may be suffering from postpartum depression. The baby blues affect 70-85 percent of woman. Postpartum depression is different from the baby blues in that symptoms get worse and last longer, even up to a year. One in ten women will suffer from postpartum depression.
Anyone can experience postpartum depression, but women with a family history of the depression, unplanned pregnancies, marital troubles, financial difficulties, or having an unsupportive spouse can increase the risk. Additionally, developing depression is not limited to your first child. It can develop after the birth of any child, but the risk of experiencing depression in a following pregnancy is greater than 50%.
There is no one cause of postpartum depression. However, several things can bring it on such as lack of sleep, poor diet, hormone levels, traumatic delivery, and stress due to dealing with the baby’s many needs. Common symptoms of postpartum depression include:
- Insomnia
- Excessive sleeping but still feeling exhausted
- Loss of appetite or increased appetite
- Decrease in sexual interest
- Diminished interest in almost all activities
- Crying spells without obvious cause
- Feelings of guilt
- Avoiding friends and family
- Detachment from your infant
- Sadness
- Anger
- Feelings of despair and/or worthlessness
- Forgetfulness
- Difficulty making decisions
- Poor concentration
- Feeling on self-harm
- Fear of hurting the baby
If you are having thoughts of harming yourself, your child, or someone else, please seek help immediately by calling 911, have someone take you to the emergency room, or call a crisis line (800-suicide). If the last two symptoms do not apply to you, but you have been experiencing several of the above symptoms, see your doctor or a counselor to discuss your feelings further.
Some women find it difficult to admit to the doctor how they have been feeling, but take comfort in the fact that you are not alone. When speaking with your doctor some important questions to ask are: Am I experiencing postpartum depression?, How long can I expect to feel this way?, What are the treatment options?, If breastfeeding, will any medication prescribed effect my breast milk?, What are the possible side effects of medication?, Would you recommend counseling?, and What are things I can do on my own to feel better? If you feel comfortable and your husband is willing, it may be a good idea for him to go to the appointment with you so he can learn the best ways to support you during this time.
In the meantime, some things you can try to cope with the depression include:
- Sleep when your baby sleeps.
- Don’t be afraid to ask others for help.
- Get out of the house.
- Exercise.
- Ask someone you trust to watch the baby, and have a date with your husband.
- Eat a well balanced diet.
- Journaling
- Reaching out to other moms with young children.
- Support groups
The main thing to remember is that the symptoms are temporary and treatable with trained professional care and support. Help and support is an important part of getting back to feeling like you again. And remember, early treatment is best.
This article was written by Kim Ryan, a Licensed Professional Counselor at CARES, LLC. Kim holds a Bachelors of Science in Psychology and a Masters of Arts in Human Services. If you would like to contact the author directly or speak with a counselor concerning this issue or a variety of other issues please visit www.careScounseling.com
